Here is my favorite clip from my PBS TV Special called Finding Your Own True Love, which is based on my new dating advice book, Love in 90 Days.This clip gives you a simple exercise from the book that you can do immediately to turbo-charge your self-confidence in dating!This inner balance empowers you to take the 'next step' of sharing yourself authentically with another.And sharing yourself fully and authentically is the foundation of a satisfying, lasting relationship.This kind of honesty strips away role playing and creates space for the beginning of a real relationship to take hold.That is, if the questions you are asking are an honest question and not simply an attempt to gain information, attention, or more manipulative strategizing. This can only happen when we actually show up as who we truly are, so that the other person can see us authentically and truly choose us.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, one fifty-something single woman who was in the audience for the PBS taping happily married her boyfriend just a few months after the show. v=S6kvrqf PKMU&feature=channel_page I'm typically a skeptic when it comes to things like meditation or self affirmation. even if it seems a little hokey it really does help improve self image, and not just in dateing situations, but in every day life.So how do you begin to break the habit of role playing?By no longer assuming you know what the other person wants you to do, say, or be.It requires deeper questions like: If we expect another soul to love us, that love must first begin with truly loving ourselves.Part of loving ourselves is the courage and self-respect to view ourselves honestly and present that honest self to those we love.