“We know from neuroscience and psychology research that the brain sees what it looks for.
That’s its whole job.” It’s no surprise, then, that a negative outlook leads to a negative outcome.
The scammer will later explain that she’s from Russia but couldn’t select it as an option on the dating site.
“When people talk about positive thinking, it’s not a mysterious attraction force,” she says. Kara suggests allowing yourself to reflect on dates through that lens, rather than seeing him or her as a list of bullet points that exists in a vacuum.“So many of us are so judgmental about the people we meet while dating,” Kara says.
The period from first contact to first cash request could be a few days or a few months but regardless how long you've "known" the person, a request for money is a scam.
Scammers operate from countries with low per capita income and even if a scam takes months to pay out it is worthwhile for them, even for just a few hundred dollars.
Russian dating sites are very popular and while many men have met genuine, loving Russian women, unfortunately sometimes one encounters scammers as well.
There are many variations of online dating scams originating in Russia and Eastern Europe but they have in common a high emotional and financial cost to unsuspecting scam victims.