The exciting nature of "goodbye bed" sex is due to its unique circumstances: this is the last chance to enjoy sex with each other.As Ted Spiker said, "It's like the day before a diet.As one woman said, "Our relationship is that much more secure after make-up sex, in addition to the added relief of being reconnected to my closest companion.It’s a reminder that even though we can hurt each other, we’re still there for each other." A similar manner of increasing sexual arousal by transferring arousal from a different state is when one partner acts wildly and even sadistically toward the other.In this experiment, male passersby were contacted either on a fear-arousing suspension bridge or a non-fear-arousing bridge by an attractive woman who asked them to fill out questionnaires.Sexual arousal toward the woman was greater in subjects on the fear-arousing bridge.Their fear arousal was transferred to sexual arousal generated by the presence of an attractive woman.Another example of such transfer can occur when we watch certain movies: Our the anger toward the villain can easily turn into the arousal underlying happiness upon seeing the villain punished.
The arousal (excitation) transfer is expressed in the classic bridge experiment conducted in 1974 by Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron.
The arousal transfer mechanism is involved in this case as well.
The transfer is possible when a change occurs in the focus of attention under different circumstances.
Thus, when the lover focuses his attention on his partner's wisdom, he loves her dearly.
When he thinks about the humiliation she brings upon him, he hates her guts.