Grown-up sexy play time is way better than childhood make-believe.
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I didn’t like that I had the fantasy and felt ashamed of myself—but he didn’t judge me at all.
He held me and asked me what I wanted to do about it.
It is not a simple matter to just purge myself of those emotional needs and desires. They’re emotional needs that happen to show up in my sexual life as well as in other areas of my life.
The other neighborhood girls and I took turns being rock stars and fans as we waited for the lightening bugs to come out.
Ultimately, what I determined is that this fantasy was something that would make me feel visible and valued–two huge issues I struggle with in my heart.
They stem from emotions that have been deeply embedded since childhood.
While role-playing sexual fantasies is a vibrant part of the marriage bed for some couples, for other couples, it can seem confusing and even a bit scary. I’d like to suggest that you ask yourself two questions: Is it sinful? What if it is a fantasy that would be sinful to do? Pretending to be strangers who meet in a hotel bar and go have sex doesn’t mean that you would do that—and you would know the entire time that you are pretending and that you are married only to each other. Pretending to do something that would be sinful invites the enemy into your heart and mind. Plus, you take the risk of enjoying it and opening yourself to the temptation to do the act for real. If a fantasy overpowers your thought life and your sexual response, it might be wise to rethink whether it should be part of your marriage bed.
So let’s say that you and your husband determine that it is not sinful to act out a particular fantasy. This is especially important if the fantasy would be sinful to actually do.