And we all have reasons (or excuses) that explain such failures.But our experiences in groups suffer precisely because we are with them.We don’t like to guess how you’re feeling so instead of playing with us, just lay it all out on the table. Sometimes We Disappear Disappearing is, perhaps, one of the most annoying things some INTJs do that people dislike. and I stammer out an Uhh as an answer, I realize my host probably wondered what happened to me.No Living in the Past The past is not of great interest to us. We don’t need to drone on about the weather or our families. I promise you we are not trying to insult you or to hurt your feelings by leaving. Saying good-bye is a ritual that seems silly because I will see everyone again soon; but manners and societal norms require following particular stations of behavior in a standard order and I need to be more alert and adhere to those expectations in public where I can easily be misunderstood. When there are more than three people in the room we tend to hang out in corners by ourselves.However, although groups are everywhere and we participate in them constantly, we do not understand them very well.Many of us can tell stories of groups that seemed perfect for a given task, but which failed.It is generally accepted that group cohesion and performance are associated.
One definition of cohesion is “a group property with individual manifestations of feelings of belongingness or attraction to the group” (Lieberman et al., 1973: 337).The study of groups as a phenomenon that is unique and different from other social phenomena is very active, reflecting both the importance it has and how much we still don't know about groups.In this book, we take a challenge-based approach to dealing with groups.What’s done is over and what we think about today can change tomorrow, so let’s get a Plan and then a Plan B plus a Plan C and… We live in the ether beyond the cutting edge and sometimes that place is a little isolating. We live without regret but that doesn’t mean we are content. I find myself thinking two years ahead of others in what will be and what must be and what why be. We are not terribly concerned about being liked or not. I tell people I work with that when it comes to criticizing me or my work to “be blunt and cruel, it saves time” and some people get offended by that statement because they think I am asking them to be mean and to insult me. We leave, usually without comment, from groups or meetings or parties or get-togethers because we become interested in something else. Mingling is not a strong INTJ trait because it usually involves idle chatter.When I warn people beforehand I am not good in non-structured group activities with people I don’t know because I am “painfully shy” I usually get laughed at for awhile because they think I’m kidding.